Thoughts

Got a big slapped again this time. I can't lie I'm suck at it. I'm totally not good at it, and if only I want to lie to someone I'll end it up by telling the truth. I cannot do something that is really not from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry if I was the one who started it back then, but trust me if you don't give anything and not putting high hopes on people, you'll never lose them. I rather seeing myself hurt that hurting people around me. Don't feel sorry, I'm used to it and it's fine. I wouldn't mine as long as we are together like we used to, like the first time we met. I've lost so many people. Friendships and relationships always start off so fun and then turn into suck-a-bag-of-dicks. I want something different, I don't want to keep overthinking about the same shits. I don't want people put high hope on me, because all this time I'm the one who cannot make it work. I need people around me, closed and there for me. The only way I can know that I'm not alone. I've closed my heart for quite long till now. To love I still can't, to "sayang" yes I will :)